|| No. 1 || CLOGGING THE DRAGON || KICKING DeBOUQUETTE ||

|| THE IMMORTAL St. GEORGE || Miscellany ||

English Folk Play Research website

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Here be Dragons ...... Herein you will find the words of what the BBTWTA have been doing on & off for 10 years or more. Choice of play depends on the available side and how energetic we feel. Photos are on Zing!

 If you feel impelled to go Forth and Mumm, and you want to use any of "our" scripts we'd appreciate a note. We'd be pretty well chuffed & could give you some pointers to the dangerous bits - having died ourselves, we know a bit about how to avoid it (sometimes). Commercial use of the scripts in any way is totally forbidden, verboten, banned & actionable unless you pay a licence fee. (Be warned that Mummers in our part of the world tend to hold down professional jobs in the City & stuff.)

No.1 Play

Featured Cedric the Dragon, a timber and foamed plastic monster begot by Mac. A long-ish piece. So has its own page.

PRESS HERE for the words

©Jon McNamara 1987. All Rights Reserved

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Clogging the Dragon

©Jon McNamara 1989. All Rights Reserved

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Kicking DeBouquette

Narrator Good evening good people I beg you all gather near

And grant us your attention our story to hear ....

We'll tell you a tale that our Grandfathers told

On cold winters evenings - long years ago

When the young folk and old folk together at night

Warmed themselves by the fires cheerful glow ....

It's the story of a greedy Lord and how the folks he did offend

And how he breathed his worthless last and them was brought to life again ..!

But before we start our little play please give a right royal cheer

For the entrance of the company as they come to gather here ....

SONG>>> Pray listen good people, don't haste to depart

For our play is beginning and is now at its start

As our company gathers by one, two and threes

Our story to tell, Oh we hope it do please ....

For it's easy we come and it's easy we'll go

When we've told you our tale of long, long ago.

Now gather in close and it's better you'll hear

As we lighten your sorrows, bring your hearts cheer

For our company gathers by two, three and four

To relate our tale, 'till we can tell you no more

For it's easy we come and it's easy we'll go

When we've told you our tale of long, long ago.

And now that we've gathered our tale will proceed

And haste to it's end with commendable speed

For our company gathers by three, four and five

And simply to please you we'll eagerly strive

For it's easy we come and it's easy we'll go

When we've told you our tale of long, long ago.

Narrator 'T'was Hock Tide down in the valley -

In fact - 't'were Hock Tide everywhere

When the Lads and the Lassies of Beerfordbury Town

Did gather for dancing and cheer

T'was the eve of our young Hero's wedding

And were pay day for Harvest and all

So they'd dance and they'd frolic

With drinks alcoholic

Like rich folks attending a Ball!

Now, all were JUST right for beginning

And musicians had JUST played the first chord

When who would appear, to a heart warming cheer

T'was Baron De Bouquette - their master and Lord

Baron DB I'm Baron De Bouquette - black hearted and mean

I'm a scourge to the young and the old

I'm scheming and grasping and not very clean

And 'orrbly greedy for gold!!

I've just moved into the castle on hill

For the old Baron you knew has retired

So I'm your new boss and collect taxes and such

And all your goods and money I require ...

ROBIN But my Lord, we are poor and penniless

And your words leave us somewhat dismayed

For our Hock Tide celebrations marked

The day when our wages were paid

The old Baron used to join us each year

To partake of wine, food and fun

And he pay us the wages for all of the work

That in the past year we had done

BARON DB Well now .... that's just too bad -

for you've done no work for me

So, there's no reason I should pay up

No reason that I can see ...

For I own the castle and I'm your new Lord

You cannot dispute those facts

And I've come here today to tell you

That I'm levying a brand new tax ...

You've all got thumbs - so we'll have a thumb tax

And a penny a thumb you must pay

A penny a thumb - or per part of a thumb

With the first payment due right away

Narrator A gasp of horror raced through the crowd

A filling their hearts up with dread

'Till young Robin, their spokesman, stood forth again

And these are the words that he said ....

ROBIN Your Lordship, we're nothing but simple folk

And we have no wish to upset or offend

But we cannot afford to pay you my Lord

For a penny's a great deal to spend ....

Narrator Now Baron de Bouquette were really put out

When he heard what brave Robin had said

And he took his sword out and waved it about

While his face went all blotchy and red ....

BARON What's that little man - defy me and die

For there's one fact to get into your head

A penny per thumb per week you will pay

Or a thumb per week pay instead ....

So stop all this frivolous dancing and stuff

For I'm here on the spot to collect

And I'll meter out death to the first to dispute

My right to your money, land and respect ...

ROBIN Say what you like

Narrator ....cried Robin to Lord

ROBIN 'Cause no-one here's scared of you

Narrator Which was quite bravely spoken - just like hero's should

Though in fact it was completely untrue ...

BARON To defy me is death

Narrator Cried the Lord with a roar

BARON Retract your words - or put up your sword

And test the strength of my skill ....

ROBIN I'm but a humble peasant Lord

But some fighting skills have I

And I'll not revoke the words that I spoke

So to fight you I must try ....

ROSE Oh no, Robin No ... don't enter this fight

For he'll out match you in cunning and skill

Now I'm almost your wife, just fear for your life

For you'll lose if you're killed or you kill ...

BARON She's right

Narrator Said the Baron

BARON a wise maid indeed

To see both side of the picture so clear

For should that I die then the King will avenge

A son that he holds very dear ...

Indeed I think I shall take her to wife

As I'm Lord all is mine to command

So put down your sword and pay up your taxes

Indeed give me all I demand ...

Robin Never

Narrator Cried Robin and

Rose Never

Narrator Cried Rose

T'was a rare moment that both did agree

Rose I'll never leave Robin

Narrator cried Rose -And Robin cried

ROBIN She'll never leave me

So put up your sword you loathsome lord

Put up your sword and fight

It might be my death - but as I draw my last breath

I'll know that my cause it was right.

BARON What's that little man - you speak very bold

Yet I think that you're are a liar and a coward to behold

And if your blood runs even warm -

I'll quickly turn it cold ...

ROBIN I'm neither coward - nor a thief

Like you my noble Lord

And I'm willing now to meet your match

If of breathing you are bored

For I'll hop you and hack you

And make your buttons fly

I'll chop you into pieces

As small as any flies

And send thee over seas

To make mince pies ....

CROWD Mince pies hot

Mince pies cold

Mince pies in the pot

Nine days old .... OYH!!

BARON Come - pull out your purse and pay

For I shall win the day .....

ROBIN Nay Put up your sword and fight

For winning shall be my delight ...

And so they fight .... with much shouting and cheering for Robin and

Booing for the Baron ... if he looks like winning ... eventually ....ROBIN WINS .... !!

ROSE Oh Robin, Robin ... what have you done

You've gone and killed the Baron

And now we're all quite undone !

For the King will swear revenge and take the life

Of the man who slew his favourite son ....

ROBIN Come sweet Rose and tell me true

Just what you expected me to do

To fight to live - or not to try

I'm sorry but I chose not to die!

ROSE Oh hush your tongue and turn your mind

To the man a' lying on the ground ...

Is there not a healer here

With the skill to heal this wound ...

QUACK In comes I old Doctor Quack

With cures for all inside my sack

I'll take your money, cure the maimed and halt

And then for your door I'll make a bolt ...

ROSE Are you a doctor ?

QUACK Well I pass as one ....

But I only cure strangers ....

ROSE Only cure strangers .... but why ?

QUACK Simple - I have no friends ...

ROSE No friends - that seems rather sad ...

QUACK 'T'is the nature of the world to the healer

For kill or cure is my name ...

And the hearty and well, my friendship repel

While the dead do friendless remain !

ROSE Good enough Doctor, now tell me true

Can you mend this dying man

Can you work the magic of your craft

And raise him up, make him stand?

QUACK My lady - healing is easy miracles take longer

The bill is bigger - but the medicine stronger

For I can cure all kinds of diseases ...

Anything that pains or displeases ...

The itch the stitch, the palsy the gout

  The raging pain both inside and out

If the Devils in a man I'll fetch it out

Give me an old woman - four score and ten

And I'll make her young and plump again ...

I can ease excess, mend a lack

bring to life a cock with a broken back

In fact I can do most anything

And then return - and do it again ...

ROBIN Enough of boasting - can you heal this man

Staunch his wound and make him whole again ?

QUACK Well good sir - I've a little bottle

Contains a potion of elecampane ....

A little of which poured down the throttle

Should bring a man to life again ....

A rare cunning brew of the midnight herbs

Will ease this Baron's pain

T'is the rarest of brews, his strength will renew

And quickly he'll stand again

[At this point ... the cure, as ever with the horse pills, the

chopper and the extraction of the improbable from the revolting

depths ... ie more or less as normal ( can we think of something

new ... rubber gloves, bicycle pumps and ladies underwear all come

to mind!)!] .... EVENTUALLY ...

There is the flicker of life ... but all in vain - the body

remains dead!

ROSE Oh come now Dr Quack, work your cure

and bring this man back to living

For when the King do hear of his death

I'm sure he'll not be forgiving ...

QUACK I'm sorry sweet Lady, though it cost me my life

I cannot raise this broken man

Though beyond my skill to cure or kill

I know a man who can!!

The spirit of earth, air, water and fire

He's all that will be, all that has been

The love of giving, the lust of desire

So give a good cheer for old JACK IN THE GREEN

JACK I'm the doctor of life, the healer of death

The rising of sap to the bud

I'm the thought that turns as Spring sun burns

I'm the song that sings in the blood

A healer you need and a healer is called

A healer is here at hand

I'm the spirit of springtime of laughter and life

I shall make this dead man stand ...

A black heavy heart is the problem here

And the answer easy too

we'll finish and start, with a change of heart

And so the man we do re-new

He changes the barons black heart for a new red/white heart ....

Now Baron rise up now your lesson to learn

Give more that you take,

Mend more than you break

Love more than you hate

And so your new life you'll earn ...

THE BARON RISES ...

Narrator And so the Baron was healed and the village saved

Young Robin and Rose were very soon wed

The Baron was chief guest at the wedding

And when dancing started he cheerfully said ...

BARON Come Ladies - a dance me a dance

A new one for me, lest I forget

A new dance - a dance just for me

And let it be called " Kicking de Bucket" !!

PEGLEG UNICORN DANCE .... "Kicking de Bucket"

Narrator And that good people is the end of our tale

And every word we told is true....

BARON But - now's the time we collect up our taxes

And a penny per thumb - or per part of a thumb

From each one who's watched .... is now due !!

COMPANY >> [ While collection is being taken ]

Oh now that we've finished and our tale it is told

Please fill up our pockets with silver and gold

As our gathered company leaves at a rush

Down to the ale house - their throats to refresh

For it's easy we come and it's easy we go

Now we've told you our tale of long, long ago ...

Another dance ... or whatever ...

THE END !!

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The Immortal Mummers Play of St George 

PRESS HERE for the words - they're on their own page

#1 - Bohemia - as done before His Worship the Mayor, Corporation, Burgesses, Gentry and the Populace of Hronov, Czech Republic.

#2 - Australia - as used to frighten children and animals in the City of Goulburn, Canberra, Tuena and Taralga

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Miscellany

St George - an Ode

YOU JUST MISSED THE LAST ONE - THERE'LL BE ANOTHER ONE ALONG IN A BIT >>>

©Jon McNamara 1989. All Rights Reserved

Clogging The Dragon -  verse version ( and they don't come much verse ... )

SEE ABOVE ^

©Jon McNamara 1991. All Rights Reserved

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