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Servants : Good people of this merry town

We beg you and we pray

That you will gather close at hand

To watch our little play.....

1st Servant The King, the King is coming

And his word you must obey

For all his soldiers and his men of might

Are all sent out this day..

To catch all rogues and vagabonds

And to send them on their way....

2nd Servant All rogues and vagabonds!!

Now that seems wondrous strange....

1st Servant How so ?

2nd Servant How so you ask? Well let me tell to thee

That in this whole kingdom here around

The greatest rogues but number three....

1st Servant But three! Ha - since you know so much

Come tell me who they be....

 (2nd Servant reluctant... 1st Servant mocking... adlib until....)

2nd Servant Since you insist .... they are

The King, yourself - and me!!

1st Servant (in panic) quiet, quiet - you'd lose your head

Did the King hear you speak so free...

2nd Servant But here he comes good people

Now for yourself you'll see.....

1st Servant The King, The King.... and with him comes a merry

crew....

Come in bold fellows and show us what you do..REST OF COMPANY ENTER SINGING......

1. You noble spectators who ever you be

Your attention we beg and we crave..

For our only delight is to please you all

So give us large room for our stage

2. Now the first to come in is our wicked old King

The very first leader of strife...

And if by mistake you'd been here in our place

You'd be glad to get off with your life.

3. The next to our stage is the Templar Knight

His heart is as black as the coal

Without even a thought he would cut off your life

And be damned if he won't steal your soul

4. Now the Fool and his Lady will then take a bow

And may chance for to sing us a song

But the Devil himself will turn joy into grief

Ere St George can right all the wrongs

5. Now last but not least is old Dr Bones

Who's idea of a cure is to kill!!

With his pills and his potions, ointments and lotions

I hope for your sake you're not ill!

6.  So, Ladies and Gentlemen, the time has now come

Our story's about to be told...

See, the evil old King on the stage has arrived

His plan to start to unfold

Enter the King

.....

King I am the King - and Lord of all this land

Be feared you peasants, heed to my command

By blood and pain and fire and sword

To you will be carried my Royal word....

2nd Servant As ever it is your Majestical Sire...

As ever it is...

King Ah scum... tell me... what is the news

2nd Servant News Sire ?? News of what my Lord ??

King Why news of the roads ... Come General

What vagabonds have my soldiers found??

What rogues have my men of might waylain??

Their swords, I trust, are newly bloodied...

So, what numbereth the slain??

There is a silence during which both Servants try to hide behind

each other... the King watches for a while as they struggle not

to be the one to answer..

 King What News....

Come I command you both to speak..

1st Servant My Lord, My Sovereign Liege...

In this whole land

 2nd Servant None travel the road

By honest Men!!

 1st Servant In peace they come

To sell and buy....

2nd Servant None lie slain....

The swords are dry !!

King Honest Men !! I'll not believe that..

Why the kingdom is cursed and full of cut-throats

2nd Servant That's true enough Sire....

But they're all in your service!!

King WHAT.... how dare you speak so...

For that you'll lose your head....

2nd Servant (Cringing) Pardon Sire, Pardon...

I only meant that you employed

Men of art and cunning...

King (Ignoring Servant)

This news I hear could not be worst

For if swords are not used they soon enough rust

Then men will not fear me as fear they must..

No, No.. this is not well... General....

1st Servant My Lord!

King With haste send this command

That my men should quickly go

And strike dead the first they meet upon the road

Be they honest man or no...

1st Servant Sire... None will obey that command...

King (laughing) None you say - I know of one....

Bold Templar... come me attend (Enter the Templar Knight)

Templar I am here my King

King Templar ... does your heart with pity sing?

Templar Pity is a thorn my King

Has not pricked me since I was born

King Obey now my command....

Go forth into the world and strike down

The first upon the road you see

No matter who he be.....

Templar It shall be so my King... with pleasure!!

Exit King and Servants.... Templar marches up and down....

Templar I am the Templar Knight so bold

And Slasher Blackheart is my name

And with this sword here in my hand

I am sure to win the game

Enter Fool and Lady

Ah who is this I see a'coming

A Fool and his Lady come a'mumming..

Well, He'll serve well as the next..

But first I think I'll watch a while

For I think I like the Lady well!!

Fool The road is long My Lady

Fool's Lady And the end is not in sight

Fool Then let us rest a while

Fool's Lady Why rest until the night

Fool Well I would try court you anew...

Fool's Lady And what fool would fool with you??

Fool Come write me down the powers above

That first created a man to love

For I've a diamond in my eye

Where all my Joy and Comfort lie

Where all my Joy and Comfort lie

I will give you gold and I will give you pearl

If you can fancy me my Girl

Rich costly robes you shall wear

If you can fancy me my Dear

If you can fancy me my dear.

Fool's Lady It's not your gold shall me entice

To leave off pleasure to be your wife

For I don't mean or intend all

To be at any young man's call

To be at any young man's call

Fool Then go your way you scornful Dame

Since you prove false I will prove the same

For I've no doubt that I can find

Another young maid to please my mind

Another young maid to please my mind

Fool's Lady Now stay young man don't be in haste

You seem afraid your time you'll waste

Let reason rule your roving mind

And unto you I will prove kind

And unto you I will prove kind

Fool Now all my sorrows is comed and past

Joy and Comfort I have found at last

For the girl that I used to say me Nay

Will comfort me both night and day

Will comfort me both night and day....

General happy dancing etc etc.. until Enter the Templar Knight

Templar Ah Fool.... the only comfort you will find

Is the sweet comfort of death

Fool Death !! Bold Knight.... would you strike me down?

Templar Oh yes - with pleasure... raises sword

Fool But why - what have I done?

Templar The King's command I must obey

The first traveller on the road to slay!

 Fool's Lady Coming between the Knight and the Fool

Sir Knight - strike not my husband down

Fool he is and little skilled in wit

But he is the little that I have...

Templar Lowering the sword

For your sake Lady - I might just stay the blow

ENTER THE DEVIL

Devil Templar!! Strike they blow

And remember the command of the King. Templar Oh yes.... The King

 Fool Bold Knight - strike not this blow

What evil have I done ?

Poor Fool I be, and little skilled in wit,

But Stand I here in innocence

Devil Bah... Strike him dead...

He is no use to any man

Fool's Lady Is that his crime ? Poor Fool

Supplies this woman's need...

Fair Ladies Plea to you..

Templar - strike him not

Templar For your sake dear Lady

I will stay the blow

 Devil Do not stay the blow Bold Templar

The Fool is better dead...

Strike him down upon this spot

Or the King's wrath be on your head!!

Templar Ah yes... The King (Raises sword again)

Fool's Lady Can no word of mine stay your hand?

Templar Not now my Lady

 Fool Help.... Help... I beg and crave

Is there here a champion near at hand

Who will against this Knight take stand

And keep me from an early grave ?

Enter St George....

 St George There is a Champion near at hand

Who will against this Knight take stand

To keep you from your early grave

As your life he fights to save

Templar Who are you?

St George I am Saint George and a hero bold

By my sword I won ten thousand crowns of gold

I fought the fiery Dragon and brought it to a slaughter

And by my might I won the King of Egypt's Daughter

Templar Ha... You are a foul impostor...

You are not Saint George...St George I am Saint George... don't doubt my word

Or else you'll risk the feel of my sword

Templar Pay... Begone Dog... raises sword to attack the Fool

St George Templar - strike not!

Devil Heed him not - but take your choice

Strike for the King and then rejoice !

St George Templar.... Strike not...

Templar Advancing on St George and pointing at him with his

sword

Know thou who I am ?

St George You are the proud Templar

 Templar Then know this : no man gainsays me

Or stays my sword with impunity

Take care St George or who'er thou be

Lest I turn my trusty blade on thee

St George What's that little man? Thou speakest very bold

But then you're just a craven Templar, a coward to behold

If your blood run even warm I'll quickly turn it cold

Oh I'll hop you and hack you and make your buttons fly

And chop you into pieces as small as any flies

And send thee over seas to make mince pies!!

Optional chant (company) Mince pies hot, mince pies cold

Mince pies in the pot nine days old!!

Templar How can'st thou talk of hopping and chopping

When my head is made of iron

And my body made of steel

With beaten brass for arms and legs

No man can make me feel...

St George So... thou head is made of iron

And your body made with steel

With beaten brass for arms and legs

I still will make thee feel

Templar What's that thou sayest ??

St George I say what I mean!!

Templar Pull out they purse and pay....

St George Pull out thy sword and fight....

But I will be the victor

Templar About THAT we shall see..

A great fight of slashing and crashing takes place with much

cursing and ... hopefully shouting for St George!!.. Eventually

the Templar falls - dead!

Devil 'Tis better than I thought! The Templar slain!

Another evil soul for my domain

Come Men, take this body to the fires of Hell

There shall we roast him slowly - as fits him well!!

St George is being thanked by the Fool and his Lady.

The men enter to take out the body.... all seems to be over

When......

Enters the Templar's Lady....

 Templar's Lady My Husband, My husband, My husband is slain

Who did this deed has caused me this pain

St George I slew him Lady.. For his evil pride

Templar's Lady Foul pride that cursed his life

Has now brought him to his fall

Pray grant his body to his wife

And let me mourn his soul

St George Take it good Lady, his body is yours

May he rest in peace

Devil Alarmed by these developments

It is not! His body is mine by virtue of his death

His pride brought him to his fall

And to the fires of hell his body is called

Bear him away my bold men

We'll see he gets what he deserves

Templar's Lady Pleading to the men

Take him not... His pride is surely purged by his blood?

 Devil It is not.... take him men

St George Stopping the men

By the sword of victory I say he is the Lady's. Devil St George beware - My wrath is great

He IS mine! He is slain and his blood is spilt

Templar's Lady Cannot my plea touch your heart?

My Husband is dead. Is that not enough?

Must he be tossed in the fires of Hell

To roast and burn a serves him well....

Can you not relent?

Devil Woman, your plea to me is in vain

For I cannot be touched by mortal pain

His life is done by St George's hand

And thus his soul is mine to command

Templar's Lady Mayhap he can be cured of his hurt?

Is there a doctor to be found

To cure this man a'lieing on the ground?

Devil Ha... A doctor cure him!

No-body could cure him of his hurt!

Enter the Doctor

Doctor None save I!

Devil And who the devil are you?

Doctor Ah... The devil knows me not !

I am the bold physician

In all this world about

None can equal me in doctorship

Devil Well you'll never cure him!

Doctor I'll wager I will

Fool Are you really a skilled physician ?

Doctor My boy I would have you know

That I have studied for every degree

In every University

In every town

In every country

In the whole wide world

And, passing none I then travelled

The whole world round in search of physic

Even as far as Beerfordbury!!

Fool That's not far !

Doctor Far enough to cure this man!

Fool But just what can you cure ?

Doctor Oh all diseases - as many as pleases

The itch, the stitch, the palsy, the gout

The pain within, the pain without,

Ease an excess or replace a lack

Mend a cock with a broken back

Why if a man be dead full seven years

I'll make him stand in the winkling of an eye

Templar's Lady And what is your fee to cure my husband

Doctor The same as for any husband

Ten pennies plus a pound and a loaf of bread

Templar's Lady So Much! Can you not make it less?

Doctor All right, all right....

Forget the bread... But oh you drive a hard bargain

For the medicine to make your man, a man again!

Templar's Lady But can you cure him ?

Doctor Cure him ? Of course I can cure him....

Haven't I cured very man of every disease

In every country in the world ?

Fool Then come on Doctor - Try your skill !

Doctor The problem here is plain to see

His heart's as black as ebony

I must recourse to surgery !

The heart is extracted after much by-play with the Fool and

comments about open heard surgery etc etc... eventually the

black heart is tossed to the Devil

Doctor See here his black heart - a sorry sight

Here take it Devil, 'tis yours by right

Devil accepts heart - but still looks far from pleased

Templar's Lady Would you leave my husband heartless?

Doctor No indeed, I have a heart for him.... See here

Show heart, which is then inserted into the Templar with help

from Fool

Doctor Rise up Templar.... you are whole again

The Templar rises Templar So I am..... and with new heart too !!

St George Begone Devil, for the Templar is cured and not for you

Devil I'll not go without at least one....

So who with me to Hell will come...!

Templar Hey Devil, take the King

For he's near as evil as you

He'll roast well in the fires of hell

Aye, the King's one who will do

Devil So be it... take the King

King is carried out protesting and shouting.....

King Take me not ....

I am not evil .... etc etc..

Devil Well you're evil enough for me

And as for you St George

You're just too good to be true

And for all your meddlesome ways

I'll make your actions rue ....

See, here come an old friend of yours

THE DRAGON ENTERS

DRAGON STAND ON HEAD, STAND ON FEET

MEAT, MEAT, MEAT FOR TO EAT

I AM THE DRAGON, HERE ARE MY JAWS

I AM THE DRAGON, HERE ARE MY PAWS

MEAT, MEAT MEAT FOR TO EAT

GIVE ME A YOUNG MAID TENDER AND SWEET

I AM THE DRAGON I AM THE POWER

I AM THE PATHWAY TO EVERY DESIRE

MEAT, MEAT, MEAT FOR TO EAT

I AM THE CIRCLE FOREVER COMPLETE

Devil There you are bold Champion

An old foe for your delight

If I were you I'd make haste to kill

The Dragon in the fight

Exits laughing......

St George Should twenty thousand Dragons rise

I'd fight them all before your eyes

And now I'll slay this Dragon

My wonder to begin

A fell and fiery Dragon he,

But I will clip his wing

They fight ..... and St George falls

Fool Alas, alack, our Champion is slain

'Tis time for the Doctor to enter again

 Doctor Here comes I the Doctor good....

I'll soon stop the Champion's blood

Templar Pray Doctor can you cure him ?

Doctor I have some pills to cure all ills

Hard corns, soft corns

Pop Corns and Peppercorns

Acorns and Barley Corns

And any Corns that be

Why, I once cured a magpie of the toothache!

Templar And how did you that ?

Doctor Cut off his head and threw it in the ditch

laughs

Templar Oh you cruel barbarous fellow...

Doctor Ah, you do know me then !

 Templar Come do not bandy words around

But cure this man a bleeding on the ground

Doctor No hurry Templar....

You never knew a Doctor to take a short job in hand

But that he made a long'un out of it !!

No, see I've a little bottle here

Contains Elacampain

A couple of drops of which

Will bring any man to life again

So its .... come Jack

Take a little of this nip - nap

Run it down your tip - tap

And now arise St George and fight again

And may the dragon yet be slain !

St George arises .... fight continues between Dragon and St

George. The outcome of which is the 'death' or exit of the Dragon

 St George There now I've killed the Dragon

And brought him to the slaughter

Fool So where's the King of Egypt's Daughter ?

St George Long ago she died and lies in rest

But still I fight to succour the oppressed           They both exit

1st Servant Well the King is gone

2nd Servant And that is good

1st Servant And the Dragon is done

2nd Servant And that is better...

1st Servant And so merry sport is ended

And we must leave you all

2nd Servant Our merry tale is gone it's round

For one to rise and one to fall

1st Servant The King is gone, the Templar whole

And the Dragon done away

2nd Servant And with these joyful tidings

We wish you all good day

 ALL SING

 OUR STORY IS DONE AND WE'LL LEAVE YOU NOW

FOR WE'VE REACHED THE END OF OUR TALE

IF OUR PURSES YOU'LL FILL THEN WE'LL TOAST YOU ALL

AS WE DROWN OUR OLD NOSES IN ALE

SO YOU NOBLE SPECTATORS WHOEVER YOU BE

WE WISH YOU THE BEST OF GOOD CHEER

THE BEERFORDBURY BOYS BID YOU ADIEU

AND HOPE THAT WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT YEAR.

** or ' OUR PLAY IS NOW ENDED WE'LL BID YOU ADIEU'

ALL EXIT TO PUB AFTER MAKING COLLECTION!!!

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